Bluke4x4

i come on here only every once in a while nowadays.. last time some guy called my moderate criticism on his picture 'snippy' and hid my comments, which confused me

well this seems like it can go here. this is something that.. I dunno, i started writing it as a comic script but soon i started going into too much detail with the descriptions so it turned into something else. based off exaggerated actual events (and haphazardly researched)

1 is listening to a new LP he got, snapping his fingers to the tune.
2 walks into the situation unfolding
1 - Man, this new record I got is great
2 - UUUEUUGH?!?

2 breaks the vinyl in half
2 - VINYL?!
1 - Hey, what the fuck?

2 is a pompous dick
2 -EVERYONE in the world knows that mp3s sound JUST as good as vinyl, and they are more easily portable!

2 sticks his finger on 1's chest
1 is disgusted and angered by what has just occurred
2- YOU, my friend, are living in the past!

1 - what the fuck? no, studies have actually shown that CDs and vinyl records have much better sound quality than traditional mp3s. to get quality even approaching such great heights you'd need to use flac files, which are not as easily portable as mp3s.
1 shows off charts and shit

2 - pfffft. lies.

1 is reaching out, heart-to-heart
1 - No, I.. I don't even listen to vinyl for the supposed 'better quality' though, I just listen because oftentimes I can find old ones for cheap.. If I was concerned about portability, I wouldn't be sitting down to listen to a vinyl record. It's more of an experience-

2 - Your elitist bullshit doesn't fool me. You just like some archaic outdated fuck shit fuck fuck you you're an idiot.
1 is confused and kind of sad for 2.

1 - well I'm gonna go drink some delicious Coca-Cola
2 - mmm I love the sugary goodness of Coke.

1 takes a big swig
1 - Yep! The corn-syrupy goodness of-
2 -WHAAAT?!

2 slaps the bottle out of 1's hand, takes out a flamethrower and sets the shards and puddle on fire, and then unzips and pisses on the remains.

1 - Wha-
2 - EVERYONE knows the best sodas are made with sugar, not your fucking disgusting corn syrup shit.

1 stares hard at 2

1 - Corn syrup CONTAINS sugar!
2 - You're a stupid fucking dick. Just look at this:

2 pulls up charts showing glucose sucrose and dextrose's molecular shapes
2 - as you can see from this diagram, cane sugar is VASTLY different than all the odd quote SUGAR unquote rePLACEMENTS you retards use.

2 pulls out a coke from 1967
2 - AH YES, this is the life!
He is about to take a swig when-

2 pulls out a massive contraption, he sticks it in the bottle's opening and attaches it to his face
2 (explaining) - This device allows me to suck every morsel of genuine sugar out of this 1967 Coca-Cola. Back from before they Jumped the shark.
1 is staring as hard as is possible at 2. The stare he is having is beginning to have actual density and weigh down the air between his eyes and 2.

2 is partially incapacitated by the device
2 - Thff if fffm gmmd!

tears of joy stream down 2's face. he runs to the nearest computer
2- I'ffe gotta reffiew thff!

he signs on as editor of BitchTork.com and writes a review of the Coca Cola bottle he is drinking. He gives it a 10.3423243454u3y2t74582938757389283849385948372288375838274 score

Shingles!
SHINGLES!






felt the need to update

1. put your iTunes (or any other media player you may have) on shuffle.
2. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the memo from.

Hrmrmms,sd.gma

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I Got Rhythm - The Residents
It's my go-to phrase, man

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Le Moribond - Jacques Brel
Oh yeah. I'm quite the dying-Frenchman type.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Bear Attack - Math the Band
The ability to bear attacks is nice but the song is literally about attacks by bears so I'm not sure how to interpret this.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Skate or Live [GOTO80 Remix] - Best Fwends
Sure, why not?

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Good Evening - John Hodgman
Mmmmm.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Ted Commandments - TISM
They know I follow them, yes.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Whatever Became of Hubert? - Tom Lehrer
A subject to ponder.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I Know You Miss Me - T.I.
Well, I know he/she misses me.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Chop Me Up - Justin Timberlake
Apparently I hate her and didn't realize she was on my Zune

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
When I'm Dead, Pt. 2 - Logan Whitehurst
Ooh, this is a good one!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Get Thee In My Behind, Satan - TISM
Charming.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Oregon - John Hodgman
Of course.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Winged Whell - Clinic
while they never initially got around to listening to me they have discovered that I am alright

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Idle Hands - Mailbox
Again, charming. It's interesting, I've always associated the way he sang in this song to the little asparagus kid in VeggieTales, but then he's just saying these filthy things. Wonderful.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Greatest Game Console Ever - Tasteful Nudity
Hahahahaha I will never escape it

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
All U Can Eat - Ben Folds
Buffets of any size

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Meanwhile, Back in The Real World - Sonic Boom Six
This is the first time I've listened to this, and Whitington sent it to me at least two years ago. Dandy tune!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Quoting Yourself Will Make Yourself Famous - Math the Band
Well, we have our injokes.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
U Ass Bank - Lyrics Born
Having no fucking money, mmn.

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Info Intro - Tommy Wright III
Don't kill me and take my soul, Tommy! I love you!

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Hercules - Elton John
I haven't seen the film in aaaages I ought to watch it again sometime

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Warm Beer - Theophagus
It's just inherently absurd to me!

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Thirty-One - Tasteful Nudity
Alex, you should've finished that cartoon

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Sophisticated Side Ponytail - Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
I do, I do! It's true, it's true.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
45.00 - Froken Smillas Kansla For Snovit
Foreign languages..

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Motel Window - Theophagus
Depends on what side of the window I'm on, I spose

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Why Do I Feel? - The Shaggs
Medication?

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Mr. D - The Letter People
I'm sorry there's no way to associate a sad feeling with this song. It's downright dunky.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Fembot In A Wet T-Shirt - Frank Zappa
Well. K

Alex says (9:05 AM):
They should do a live action Family Guy movie
William says (9:05 AM):
Yes.
Alex says (9:05 AM):
that would make a terrible premise a million times more awful
William says (9:05 AM):
Yes, but imagine how successful it would be!
William says (9:05 AM):
This summer..
William says (9:06 AM):
all the voice actors can play their roles, only in loads of make up
William says (9:06 AM):
Seth MacFarlane in a fat suit, simultaneously playing a dog in th same scene
Alex says (9:07 AM):
I had the same idea
Alex says (9:07 AM):
It'd be a real dog with the lips animated on
William says (9:07 AM):
a still image of a dog
William says (9:07 AM):
superimposed
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:07 AM):
i prefer the idea of a real dog
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:07 AM):
and they pour alcohol down its throat
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:08 AM):
during the scenes Brian would be drinking
Alex says (9:08 AM):
80% of the footage would probably be shots taken from other movies belonging to 20th century fox
Alex says (9:09 AM):
Since it's live action they don't even HAVE to recreate the exact same scene from another movie
William says (9:09 AM):
yeah
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:09 AM):
all the skits that feature celebrities would have to be animated and involve the cast in a mary poppins fashion because no reputable actor would be caught dead in that movie
Alex says (9:10 AM):
you just put an image of unwilling celebrities being killed and turned into human puppets for the film into my head
William says (9:10 AM):
this idea gets better and better
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:10 AM):
the movie would be 88% britney spears jokes
Alex says (9:11 AM):
I think Stewie could possibly be a real child either with a giant animatronic head, or a CG one
Alex says (9:11 AM):
or both
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:11 AM):
a giant animatronic cg head
William says (9:11 AM):
they could do what they did for that movie Little Man
William says (9:12 AM):
Seth MacFarlane's face, superimposed on a child, only the child is wearing a large mask with no features
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:12 AM):
or a real baby with an american football-based helmet (I mean the actually ball, not the helmets) with superimposed lips
Alex says (9:12 AM):
hahahhaha
Alex says (9:13 AM):
I think the black guy should be Seth McFarlane in black face CGI'd onto the body of WIll Smith/Samuel Jackson (each plays one half of the characters body) who have been CGI'd to be fat
William says (9:13 AM):
hahaha great
Alex says (9:13 AM):
his voice will be provided by an apple macs speech function
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:13 AM):
the crippled character should be played by the real actor whose legs have been broken for the movie for realism.
William says (9:14 AM):
no, no, they get a crippled man to act out all the actions, and Patrick Warburton's fae is superimposed on
Alex says (9:14 AM):
his legs should be removed and replaced with prop legs so they can do leg special effects
Alex says (9:14 AM):
hahahaha
Alex says (9:15 AM):
What about the sex man?
William says (9:15 AM):
Large animatronic chin
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:15 AM):
with wheels
Alex says (9:15 AM):
they should strap the bodies of aborted children to his face
William says (9:15 AM):
attached to a stuntman who is appropriately frail and skinny
William says (9:16 AM):
and then Seth MacFarlane's face superimposed on
Alex says (9:16 AM):
the chin suit should weigh at least double that of the actor and most likely kill him
William says (9:16 AM):
yes, twelve actors play Quagmire
Alex says (9:16 AM):
and send out an assasin robot to also kill his family
Alex says (9:17 AM):
it should also contain the engine of a truck inside it
William says (9:17 AM):
it should be a chin car, and his main transportation
William says (9:17 AM):
and his body is just dragged behind it
Alex says (9:18 AM):
Yes! and it should also have a small bar fridge filled with at least 20kg of drinks inside it
William says (9:18 AM):
three families live inside it's hollow structure
Alex says (9:18 AM):
And it should systematically send a 20 volt electric shot down the weaers body
Alex says (9:18 AM):
actually, the voltage should slightly increase
Alex says (9:18 AM):
so the actor doesn't become lazy
William says (9:19 AM):
all the faces, the ones superimposed over the actors, they need to have ping pong balls for eyes
William says (9:19 AM):
and then the pupils move around in post-production
Alex says (9:19 AM):
yes, that will capture the feel of the show
Alex says (9:20 AM):
I think the wife's nose could be achieved by putting a small explosive in someones nose
Alex says (9:20 AM):
to extend it to the right size
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:21 AM):
i think you could get the same effect with two horses
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:21 AM):
one attached to her nose, one to her feet
Hoverboards don't work on water says (9:21 AM):
running in opposite directiosn
Alex says (9:21 AM):
Every extra should be played by Seth Green due to his diverse vocal ability
William says (9:21 AM):
no, no, thw rold should appear to be populated by millions of Seths
William says (9:22 AM):
Mayor Adam West should be played by an Adam West impersonator with Adam West's real face superimposed on
Alex says (9:22 AM):
just aspects of the real Adam Wests face
William says (9:22 AM):
*millions of seth macfarlanes
Alex says (9:22 AM):
like one of his eyes and his mouth
Alex says (9:22 AM):
the rest should come from a second Adam West impersonator

me: Chris Farley is a dead man <grin>
Alex: hahaha